Archive for the ‘Summer’ Category

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

There it stood, familiar but glorious, welcoming me with open arms to my new Summer vacation spot. The Eiffel Tower, The Sphinx, The Statue of Liberty? No my soon to be loyal readers, I wasn’t in Paris, Giza or Manhattan but I was in New York; staring up at the specter of a Giant blow up doll.


“Welcome To Albany….losers!”

Why would anyone go to Albany for a vacation? Simple, to get grainy photographs of guys who make way more money than I do and seemingly like to brag about it with their body language.


Defensive End Justin Tuck, (Shoshone Indian for….”Head like bullet”)

Albany was not without it’s own royalty, the ever smiling (I hate guys like that) and newly appointed “Chief” Osi Umenyiora. I don’t know that Osi is qualified to be a Chief, I pretty much think you have to pay some guy in a loin cloth who wears a necklace made of human teeth and you’re in.

Those would make a fine necklace

Those would make a mighty fine necklace Chief!

Lorenzen Ahead of Manning??

No trip to Giants’ Training Camp would be complete without speculating that QB Jared Lorenzen aka The Hefty Lefty, aka J-Load, aka The Pillsbury Throwboy, aka The Round Mound of Touchdown, aka Mister Dumpy Pants, is ahead of Eli Manning and should be starting ahead of the king of the boring interview. Ok no one has called Lorenzen Mister Dumpy Pants yet, but look at his lumpy butt in those pants long enough and you’ll be on the bandwagon. (note: Personal Foul personnel in no way condone, encourage or approve of such behavoir)

My personal opinion, Lorenzen is as you can see DEFINITELY ahead of Eli. The proof is incontrovertible, he’s got him by like 2 steps.


Overheard from Eli:”Move it Mr. Dumpy Pants”




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